Why My Blog is a Secret

I have a secret. A secret that most of you reading this would not have realised prior to this admittance. But for the last 3 months, Olive & Clo has remained a closely guarded project of mine and to this day, still remains one. In fact, only a handful of people know that I habitually blog in my spare time and even fewer have actually seen my Instagram (@OliveandClo), let alone this website.

To say that I have kept this love of mine under wraps would be a laughable understatement. Because the fact-of-the-matter is, I have erected sky-high, iron-clad barriers around this hobby of mine, not even allowing a single family member to breach my walls. And you might be asking why, why all the hesitancy to share Olive & Clo, the one thing I have been passionately working on for the last however-many-months?

Well, that is a damn good question. One that has troubled me for some time now. So I’ll begin by confessing that a large portion of my reluctance stems from fears and insecurities. As much as it pains me to admit, the truth is that despite being a full-fledged adult, I am still plagued by the same self-doubt that once hindered me back in high school. And unfortunately, my lack of confidence is not something I can simply shake off.

So today, I wanted to write (aka pour my heart out) about the insecurities currently shrouding my blogging experience. And whilst doing so, share a few photos from a very wet morning spent exploring the stunning Maleny Botanical Gardens in an old but classic Auguste the Label maxi dress.

Insecurity 1: My Fear of Judgement

I know, I know. To be afraid or to give a morsel-of-a-crap about what others think of me is simply ridiculous, an unmitigated stupidity. And you would be absolutely right. But does that stop me from feeling anxious at the thought of my family/friends/colleagues knowing that I spend my weekends modelling for my own photoshoots and publicly journaling my thoughts for no other purpose save my own enjoyment?

Uh, no. Unfortunately, it does not.

And if I were being brutally honest, the root of this chiefly sits with me not being entirely comfortable with Olive & Clo myself. Not yet anyway. And maybe that same part of me is not quite ready to answer the hard-hitting questions.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss

Insecurity 2: My Fear of Letting People In

Most bloggers will be able to attest to this: blogging, or the general art of writing, is inherently personal. And as somebody that writes about her life, her experiences and her feelings, every sentence I pour onto my keyboard, in my mind, tends to feel a lot like building a window into my soul, one paragraph at a time.

The thought alone of the people around me possessing such ..easy access to my uncensored thoughts, imperfect perceptions, and ugly insecurities, where I am no longer safely guarded behind makeup and fashion, scares the absolute heck out of me. 

Again, this is an issue within my own backyard. I simply need to learn to let the people around me in. And to stop showing them small, tailored and sometimes falsified versions of myself. If these people get to wear the title of ‘my loved ones’, they deserve to see ugly bits and all.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. – Ernest Hemingway

Insecurity 3: My Fear of Additional Pressure

Juggling a full-time job whilst maintaining a household, relationships and adhering to a blogging schedule of 3-posts-per-week is not the easiest thing to do. And I’m not going to lie, I place an enormous amount of pressure on myself to create good, quality content for Olive & Clo. And unfortunately, that’s part-the-parcel of how it is when you have a passion that is confined to just weekends and week nights.

So as you can imagine, with the insurmountable pressure I already load myself with at current state, the idea of how psychotic I might become by simply knowing that my loved ones, the people that I want to make proud, might be following and reading this blog ..is pretty damn frightening.

Hard work doesn’t guarantee success, but improves its chances. – B.J. Gupta

That pretty much sums it up. And can I just say, I admire the bloggers/content creators who were courageous enough to share their project with their personal world from the very get-go. Because you people, to me, are absolute superstars. And I honestly wish I possessed the same level of courage.

Nevertheless, you guys will be pleased to know that I have since committed to sharing Olive & Clo with my friends and family. I have given myself until the 30th of July. And I encourage people to hold me accountable to this deadline. Feel free to check-in whenever and keep me honest. But until we reach that day, I would love to hear about some of your experiences, and whether any of you have found yourself in a similar position.

Love Linda, xo

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109 Comments

  1. May 17, 2017 / 5:39 am

    Great post! We have something in common, my family has never known about any of my websites over the years. I have the same fears, your not alone! Love the Maxi, beautiful! ❤️☺️😌

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 5:49 am

      Thanks for reading John! And your kind words! ☺️ It is so heart-warming to know that I’m not alone on this front. It’s definitely going to be a work in progress.

  2. May 17, 2017 / 5:50 am

    This is a great post Linda! Only my close family know about my blog. At the moment I am still coming to grips with the world of blogging, not wanting to take that step quite yet 🙂

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 6:00 am

      ThankYOU for reading Chloe! ❤️
      Haha, I haven’t even made the step with family yet – so you are leaps & bounds ahead of me! 🤣 But I must say, my fiancé knows about this blog. So I guess that’s something! Haha.

      Do you have any goals/aspirations you want to reach before you do share your website with your world? ❤️

      • May 17, 2017 / 6:12 am

        Yeah a step in the right direction! I love the way it is right now, my interactions with other bloggers and getting to know what people like reading (an art I would love to master!) when I have decided what I want to really focus on, I think that’s the time to show it off.

        • OliveandClo
          May 17, 2017 / 6:54 am

          That’s amazing Chloe! ❤️ And you are right! We just need to make sure that we know 150% what our direction is and then I guess, then maybe (just maybe) we will show it off. 😜😜

          • May 17, 2017 / 6:57 am

            I agree! Confidence comes from within 😊 maybe is better than no! ❤

  3. May 17, 2017 / 6:23 am

    Hey Linda, it is incredible but what you described is exactly how I feel. I haven’t told anyone about my blog and haven’t shared my social media, not even my family and closest friends because of all the reasons you named. Unlike you I actually don’t plan on telling them anytime soon because of being afraid but I admire your courage to do so, that is truly great!
    Xoxo Co

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 6:58 am

      Co, my girl ❤️
      Haha, that is incredible how many people have found themselves in similar situations as ours! Do you think you will ever tell them?

      Social media and the blog-world is such a fickle thing, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I woke up one morning to find that my mother-in-law has subscribed to my blog merely because it popped up on her instagram feed one day. Lol!

      As always, thank you for reading! Hopefully, one day, we are both in a comfortable enough place to show our respective worlds what we love so much. ❤️

      • May 18, 2017 / 1:11 am

        Actually I think I will tell my family sooner or later but with my friends I am not so sure. Maybe if I really keep blogging permanently. I thought about the Instagram thing myself some time ago. I really don’t know how my friends would react if they discovered my instagram account that I never told them about… Anyway, I admire your courage and I would really love to hear how it worked out.

  4. May 17, 2017 / 7:26 am

    What an interesting post! It’s great to see that many of us are in the same situation. Fear of judgement and the unknown is a scary thing and isn’t easily shaken. Thanks for sharing your point of view and best of luck with all of your blog endeavors! 🙂

    xo Emily Mischel

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 8:05 am

      Yes it is! I have been finding all the responses and support quite humbling. ☺️
      Thank you for reading and commenting beautiful Emily 😍💖

  5. May 17, 2017 / 10:44 am

    I started this blog as my online diary – always thinking that never would I ever give the link to anyone. It’s my private section of theworld. But as I have grown I have had the desire to have the people in my life, see these parts of me. So that I know I am truly loved for all that I am. For this is raw, real me and if i know someone that is able to read this all, it may alter my writing ,. which i enjoy the freedom of not thinking of that. I have yet to give the link away, but in having followers and comments and connections in here, it has helped me to be brave and confident and start getting my personal stuff out to others, in person. It feels really good. And I know that one day I will want whomever I marry, to have access to this!

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 6:44 pm

      Oh lovely, your comment has touched me so greatly! And I could not agree with you more!
      The person that I am online is definitely the person I want my life partner to understand, and love, and support. Thankfully I have been blessed enough to be able to say that yes, my fiancé (and unofficial photographer for this blog) has access to this space :

      And I truly hope that you find that special person. Because you without a doubt, consistently pour your heart and soul out into Life Particles, and I applaud you for it! It’s very courageous what you do.

      Do you know what you are .. I guess .. waiting for in terms of when you will feel comfortable enough to share Life Particles?

  6. May 17, 2017 / 10:57 am

    Oh olive! This post is so true and so real! Reminds me so much of myself- honestly! It’s called Perfectionism. Interestingly, people often think perfectionism is a good thing until you realize just how much of a struggle the real perfectionists go through. Fear of judgement, of not being good enough, of failing, and many more!
    It took me over a year to make my blog open to everyone and it’s still a struggle. With every post I publish I worry. But the beauty of it all is that this is all a learning process! So kudos for sharing! If you want some accountability, I got you.
    Your blog is beautiful

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 6:53 pm

      Hey baby doll <3

      I am so sorry that I have only just been able to respond to your widely beautiful comment. I have only just returned home from work. But thankfully, I was able to have a sneaky stalk of your Instagram earlier today 🙂

      Asaake - your blog is ugh, incredible! Did you design your layout? If so, you are fudging talented! And that header as well. Perfection.

      Anyway, enough fan-girling. I love the conclusions you have drawn between perfectionism and the insecurities we feel. I have never really thought about it that way, but yes! Wholeheartedly agree.

      So, Asakemi has officially been shared with your friends and family?
      I have always wondered, do you find that your loved ones actually actively follow and read?

      Love xo

  7. May 17, 2017 / 2:36 pm

    I can totally relate to this! It’s hard to be open sometimes, especially when it’s a new project or something so personal. I haven’t shared my blog or blog Instagram with anyone from my personal life except for my husband, and I don’t expect him to read it as the content is irrelevant to him! My in laws somehow found my blog Instagram and I became so insecure about my posts that I eventually blocked them 😓 which is bad, but I just really didn’t want judgemental comments at dinner about my makeup blog 😞 It’s hard, but I wish you the best sharing your blog with friends and family! Your photoshoots are always so lovely and artistic, and I’m sure they will be able to see that.

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 7:02 pm

      Lovely Cleia! <3

      I feel like I have followed your blog for forever and a day now! I love your blog!
      That is so funny that you mention your husband. My fiancé knows about my blog as well. Whether he reads it or not (unless I force him to do a grammar/spelling check) is a mystery haha.

      Oh my goodness! I have often joked about my photos appearing on my in-laws Instagram newsfeed. Any I think being exposed vis social media is a real possibility for most of us 'hidden' bloggers. Did you have your AlwaysCleia account connected to your personal account? You poor thing. Do they mention your blog ever now?

      Awe. Thank you for your beautiful words! They have honestly warmed my insides (which is something - Australia is freezing atm). Make sure to let me know if you ever do make the jump to family and friends! 🙂 It might be the push I need!

      Linda, xo

      • May 20, 2017 / 8:53 am

        That’s really heartwarming to hear that you’ve been reading my blog for so long, thank you so much! It’s so hard to keep all my social media separate, especially when our phones can automatically find the people in our contact list! I luckily found out how to turn it off, but I’m paranoid now 😅 It wasn’t connected to anything when they found me, which is the weird thing. My account wasn’t connected to anything that should have been easy to find. They don’t mention it now though, luckily!
        I definitely will let you know if I do, I think that’s a long way off though!
        😊

  8. May 17, 2017 / 3:58 pm

    Lots of us I’m sure keep our blog to ourselves, like you said, it’s incredible personal. I only recently told close friends and my sister about it. I just offhandedly mentioned it, like “Hey, I’ve been doing some blogging lately, you could go look at if you want”. They were really supportive and said they enjoyed reading it. I then showed my parents the post I wrote about Things I learnt from my Dad, and they loved it. They don’t read every post, and just check in every now and then. I don’t know about sharing it with any other friends or family though. I have that same fear of judgement.
    I wish you luck for ramping yourself up to tell friends in a few months. Your photos and posts are always lovely 🙂

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 7:04 pm

      Oh Ang! And wasn’t that the most beautiful post ever! <3
      It is so lovely to hear about your experience sharing your blog with your special people.
      I bet they read and follow much more than they lead on 😉

      When do you think (if ever) you will share lifeofangela with a wider audience. I often wonder what I, myself, am waiting for...

      • May 17, 2017 / 7:35 pm

        I honestly don’t know…I always wonder if I should open it up on Facebook. But I still have those lingering fears and insecurities of being judged…Hopefully I can shake that off one day. I’m quite proud of my little blog 🙂

        • OliveandClo
          May 17, 2017 / 7:38 pm

          You of all people pour your heart and soul into your space every. single. day. You should 150% want to shout ‘lifeofangela’ from the roof tops.

  9. May 17, 2017 / 5:19 pm

    I somehow feel the same most of the time. I actually kept my blog for a very long time. To be honest on my first months of blogging I stopped and deleted my old posts. When I feel uncomfortable or I think somebody would judge me with what I am doing. I will close my account and stay confined within my own corner. But then I really love blogging. I can’t stop. Even my lack of confidence can stop me. Actually until now, it takes a lot of courage to click the publish button even the share button but somehow I am starting to get rid of my lack of confidence.

    Anyway, your contents are very lovely! Your posts, photoshoots, the scenery that you are choosing itself. All are very beautiful. You should have confidence of what you are posting! at the same time, it’s very inspiring. I love it. I am actually looking forward for your next post after the other. thank you so much for the inspiration!!

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 7:10 pm

      Haha, I am not going to lie Shary – I think I have posted at least 80 blog posts on Olive and Clo, and I currently have only kept 43! I feel you girl. And it’s crazy because our insecurities don’t stop at just hitting the publish button, but even when reviewing my website, the second-guessing starts all over again!

      I can’t seem to access your blog lovely. I’ve clicked your username but doesn’t let me go anywhere? Could you please send me a link – I’d love to follow you 🙂

      And thank you so much for not only taking the time to read this but to also comment! Your comment, kind words and honesty have really made my Wednesday evening. So thank you in return! You are an absolute sweet-heart and I hope that you don’t find yourself back in that corner of yours any time soon. <3

      Linda, xo

      • May 18, 2017 / 1:28 am

        I even change my themes for how many times already. I felt like no one is liking it and so do I. Have you accessed my blog already? Is there something wrong with my blog that not everybody can see it? Im wondering why. You have any idea? 🤔thank you so much! ❤️ im flattered 😊

        • May 18, 2017 / 6:12 am

          Hey babe!
          Go to your settings tab, and just make sure that under the address section that your website is correctly listed?

          The shaareyow.wordpress.com is still showing. Did you update your domain name?

          😍😘

    • OliveandClo
      May 17, 2017 / 7:11 pm

      Awe! As always – thank YOU for reading and commenting 🙂
      I hope you have been well!

  10. May 17, 2017 / 10:16 pm

    Having just re-read your About page might i suggest that should you ever feel insecure regarding your blog that you read through that page to remind yourself just what a truly worthy cause and decent thing you are doing here and which genuinely shows what a wonderful human being you are.

    love.

    • May 18, 2017 / 6:05 am

      What an amazing prompt!
      I honestly have just finished re-reading the About Me I wrote 3 – 4 months ago. How incredible it was to be able to so easily step back into that mind set. Thank you so much. My Thursday morning feels richer for it! 🙂
      Thanks Iwbut!

      • May 18, 2017 / 5:25 pm

        You’re quite welcome Linda. The I by the way is supposed to be an L – for Love (WillBringUsTogether), my blog philosophy/raison d’etre.

        love.

  11. May 18, 2017 / 12:35 am

    Hi Linda – I absolutely understand this!!! At the beginning I definitely didn’t want my family and friends to know about my blog and kept it a fiercely guarded secret – but then I created a page on FB (which I didn’t share with them) and FB eventually let the cat out of the bag – basically suggesting it was something that they might like… I’ll never forget that icy grip on my chest when I realised that they could see it all. It’s still making me sweat just thinking about it! But actually it’s really sweet and they’ll casually mention from time to time that they enjoyed a post. I’m not going to lie – it still freaks me out, but I’m getting there! I’m sure that they will positively surprise you – when you do decide you’re ready to share it. Hugs! xxx

    • May 18, 2017 / 6:10 am

      Hello Charlie!
      Can I just say – I so enjoyed your 33 facts at 30 post! I could professional sleep myself LOL. If only..

      I cannot believe FB ratted you out! Although, another reader had the same thing happen with her via Instagram. So, you’ve officially got all your family and friends occasionally reading your blog? That actually does sound nice! To have the people around you casually mention that they’ve checked in. Something that I might look forward to 🙂

      How much pressure do you think it adds to your posts? I’m just wondering if it will start hindering my ability to push the publish button! Haha.

      Thank you for reading and commenting Charlie! You are fabulous. 😍❤️

      • May 18, 2017 / 6:22 am

        Hi Linda! Thanks so much – that means a lot because I really panicked before posting that – I’m still semi-regretting it now, not completely, it’s just a lot of information to put out there!
        I know – evil FB – I can see how that could happen with Insta too. They don’t all read it, it’s still only a few that have found it so far, but the responses have been positive.
        I definitely think it adds a pressure but (aside from the 33 things post, which totally through my schedule out of whack this week since I chickened out of publishing it on Monday!) hasn’t really held me back from hitting publish. Odd really considering they’re the ones that know the most about me! Thank you for reading too – love getting to know all the bloggers I’m interacting with! Keep aiming for July – we’re all here rooting for you! Xxx

        • May 18, 2017 / 7:16 am

          Semi regretting it!? Why? Absolutely nothing that I read would garner any negativity (in my humble opinion anyway!) haha. But hey – I’m the one that hasn’t even shown a single person (other than my fiancé) my blog yet!

          Thank you so much lovely! Hopefully I am able to to muster enough courage before July! That is an incredibly long time to keep something under wraps!

          And you keep doing you! I love hearing that you’ve been supported and heard nothing but supportive things! Have a good day lovely 😍❤️

  12. May 18, 2017 / 1:50 am

    You have beautiful posts and while I don’t know you well, I can sense a beautiful heart as well! 🙂 I enjoy following your blog.

    • May 18, 2017 / 6:15 am

      Thank you for your oh-so-lovely words Jihan!
      I can definitely sense the same aura from your beautiful blog. Your family and adventures look wonderful.

      Have you shared your blog with your friends and family? I am a big fan of your fashion posts! More please. ☺️☺️

      • May 19, 2017 / 4:27 am

        Thank you! 🙂 I have shared it but not very aggressively — just a one-time post on my personal social media. I can relate to it feeling sometimes a bit more scary to share with family and friends than with the general public.
        So glad to hear you enjoy my posts! I appreciate your support 🙂

  13. May 18, 2017 / 4:27 am

    I am like you….. I thought i was all alone with that secret. Thank you

    • May 18, 2017 / 6:17 am

      You definitely are not Mary! ☺️☺️
      We are on this boat together. A boat of confusion, and doubt, and insecurity. But hey. We’ll keep floating together! 😘😘😘

      • May 18, 2017 / 4:21 pm

        Yeah we are. The hardest with blogging in secret, is for me that if the people i hide from suddenly regonize me, and all hell breaks loose, But my family broke me and I need a space where i can talk to people that doesn’t know me, who can give me their insights, and comfort me so I know that its not me who is wrong but my family. Does that make sense?

        • May 19, 2017 / 4:45 am

          Oh Mary. I am so, so, so sorry to hear that.
          Keep those high walls up. Keep the secret.
          Block your family members. Do what you have to do to keep this outlet. I’m rooting for you. ❤️❤️

          • May 19, 2017 / 4:53 am

            Thank you so much <3

          • Mary
            June 26, 2017 / 4:01 am

            Hi again…. its Mary. I sit in a situation, as you know i blog in secret like you do, now someone found out about my blog and is being cruel about it. I don’t know what to do…

          • June 26, 2017 / 8:06 pm

            Oh Mary! I am so, so sad to hear that.
            Don’t you dare let this person get you down.
            You may have heard this all before – but their negativity – whoever they are – reflects more on their issues than yours! Chin up beautiful girl. 💜💜💜

          • Mary
            June 26, 2017 / 9:41 pm

            I changed my blogs name and web name, I removed the posts that might have giving me away. and for now my blog will be private untill they think I deleted my blog all together. But I will keep being here, they haven’t won just yet. I don’t know what else to do, we can’t block people on wordpress 🙁

          • June 27, 2017 / 1:13 pm

            You shouldn’t have had to do that Mary! Oh my goodness! I think you CAN block people on WordPress. Surely you can! I would look into it babe before you decide to compromise the content in your blog any further. You shouldn’t have to alter YOUR little space on the internet due to the small minds of a few odd people. You do you babe. Just block and delete them and carry on blogging on boldly! 💜💜💜

  14. May 18, 2017 / 6:32 am

    So I have the opposite problem… I shared mine with everyone from day 1. But… I know that most of my family won’t even click a link to read anything I write & most of my “friends” will turn off notifications or will unfollow me on Facebook and the likes. There’s something weird about blogging about something as trivial as makeup & beauty… it’s almost like people think it’s a waste of time, it’s not important and it’s just stupid. 😒
    I have one or two friends who will read everything I write, like every picture I post on Instagram and will comment on or even be influenced by what I have to say, but in all honesty, I get more support from strangers than I do from friends & family.
    You, for example – you take the time to read my posts, like them & comment on them 😘, yet I know friends of mine who blog (about important things, of course) but would never dream of reading my posts (or if they do, they’ll never tell me).
    I gave up caring what people thought a little while ago.
    I really hope this doesn’t sound bitter – it’s not at all. It would be nice if people would support me, but it really doesn’t matter all that much. I’ll carry on anyway as it’s something I enjoy doing. Hopefully I’ll get better at blogging soon though 😝

    • May 18, 2017 / 7:26 am

      Oh Annie! This breaks my heart.

      I am so sorry to hear that. How can the people around you – fellow bloggers no less – be so unsupportive of your passion. Regardless of the subject matter. I guess I haven’t been exposed to that sort of stereotyping yet (I am sure I will soon enough). But it exists doesn’t it, and it’s no-doubt ridiculous.

      And good on those few friends of yours that have been showing you nothing but support and love. They are the real friends in the story.

      I don’t think makeup or beauty are trivial at all. They are massive industries and just about everybody uses them. And they make up an integral part of people’s identity (I never leave for work without a face on myself). So whatever. Each to their own I guess..

      But you are so right. I guess you got to just .. stop caring. Close your remind and absolutely refuse to hear the critical noise. I don’t think you sound bitter at all.

      Once the cats out of the bag for Olive & Clo. I’ll be sure to report back on what my experience turned out like.

      As always. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience with me babe. ❤️❤️

  15. May 18, 2017 / 4:34 pm

    Hey Linda, thanks for this post! I feel the same way. I started a blog about 10 years ago and then stopped because I felt too insecure to share my thoughts. I just started to blog again a few days ago and I’ve been slowly breaking the barriers of my own mind. My biggest hesitation is that I expose some thoughts about family members that I don’t want others to know about. I enjoy reading your blog, keep posting!

    • May 19, 2017 / 4:43 am

      Absolutely my pleasure lovely! ☺️
      I hope that you eventually break through!
      We are our harshest critic. At times I wonder if our family members would even judge … maybe some mightn’t even care.

      Thank you for reading and sharing your experience with me! 😍💖

      If, one day, a member of your family does read a post that outwardly expresses your thoughts, I would like to think that they actually wanted to read it. ☺️☺️😍

  16. May 19, 2017 / 5:51 am

    Brilliant post. I can totally relate to this. My blog was a secret from friends and family until very recently. I couldn’t understand why but it was the fear of being laughed at or not taken seriously i think. When i did tell people thought they were very supportive and offered encouragement so I was glad I eventually told them 🙂

    • May 19, 2017 / 9:25 am

      Oh Louise! That is so lovely to hear! ❤️
      That gives me a little encouragement to take the punt and give the people around me a chance. I guess I’ll never know until I try.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting ❤️❤️

  17. May 19, 2017 / 1:09 pm

    I share the same fears and I don’t know if I could ever share my blog! You share your thoughts in a beautiful way and I hope that when you show your family and friends they see how wonderful your blog is too! Sending positive thoughts your way to overcome your fears and share what you have created! <3

    • May 19, 2017 / 6:18 pm

      Oh Shelby ❤️ You are an utter gem.
      Thank you so much reading and sharing your perspective with little ol’ me. ☺️☺️

      I hope that you find courage to share your space of the world one day! You have a follower in me. ❤️

  18. May 19, 2017 / 3:50 pm

    I remember that I’ve been quite insecure with my blog work too time to time, especially if I have written about something quite personal I am a bit scared what people will say or think. Nowadays I let everyone know I’m blogging but it took couple years – and even now if I tell colleague or a new friend about Dreamer Achiever I’m always a bit worried what that person will think.

    However, I think I rather tell, get some feedback and maybe even a new reader than not to tell. It’s still hard to take feedback if it’s negative, like lately my colleague told that in his opinion my blogs name is very hard to remember. It make me wonder if it really is so or not? First I was a bit upset but now I think that it’s good that he told me, maybe I’ll do a gallup in my blog about should the name stay or change. 🙂

    • May 19, 2017 / 6:24 pm

      Lovely Nora 😍 And new Instagram friend 😉 haha.

      It is so refreshing to hear that you actively – to some degree – promote your blog with the people around you! I find that amazingly courageous. Please package some of that bravery and post it to me 😜 – haha, I’mma need some!

      After reading all these amazing comments and perspectives, I am definitely feeling so much more ..ready to make the jump! I’m actually feeling more excited than apprehensive now. Progress!

      And that colleague of yours. Hmm. Not sure how that is helpful feedback. Are you meant to just change Dreamer Achiever to appease him? Silly person – probably has no idea how hard ‘changing’ your identity actually is!

      Similar to the misconception that blogging is easy. OMG. No. I want to slap everyone that assumes that. Haha

      Okay. I’m literally just brain-farting to you at the moment. Probably not making much sense. But I adore you Nora. Thanks for reading once again.

      And looking forward to some more of your fashion shoots next week! 😍😍

      • May 19, 2017 / 6:41 pm

        Good to hear the comments have given you some more courage. 🙂 To be honest time to time I’ve wondered if my blog’s name is hard to remember because it’s so long but I think it’s still very nice and feels own but maybe it’s good thing to think if there would be something even more easy to remember and still own I could use. After all, blog is kind of a brand and if a brand is hard to remember it cannot be good thing. But maybe it’s hard only for him. Hmmm… 😀

        • May 19, 2017 / 6:45 pm

          Haha, Nora. I need to be honest here. I think it’s hard only for him.

          Dreamer Achiever flows off my tongue.
          If that provides you any comfort.

          And you can make any jumble of words YOUR brand. You just need to stick to it. And OWN it. 😘😘😘

          • May 19, 2017 / 7:12 pm

            Aww, thank you for your kind words Linda! Maybe you’ll right. I should focus on owning this brand not changing it. 😘

  19. May 20, 2017 / 7:47 am

    For a decade I blogged anonymously. Not only did my family not know (until about year 5), my readers did not know my real name until year 10. I still keep my old blog, but now I’m venturing out with this new one.

    An anonymous or hidden blog has its advantages. As you say, it can be a diary for your thoughts. Whatever you decide to do with it, just remember that the blog is there to serve you and your goals. I hope you continue to have fun with it.

    I love that you address your concerns with a helpful quote beneath it. [By the way, thanks for visiting my blog.] 🙂

  20. May 20, 2017 / 3:13 pm

    I love that you’re sharing this with us. From your writing, I cannot tell you are shy about this at all! I’m excited for you to share it with your friends and family! They should all be supportive, but if they are not, you have us bloggers and all of your followers that will be there for you!

    • May 20, 2017 / 7:07 pm

      Awe Kels! I adore you so, so blooming much! You have warmed my little heart with this! ❤️ And I have you, just as you have me! 😍😘 Here’s to all our blog dreams coming true. ❤️😉

  21. May 20, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    I think that your blog is totally amazing. I hope you’ll be fine in the end.

    • May 21, 2017 / 4:19 am

      Oh thank you so much Bee. 😍❤️ That means a lot. xo

  22. May 21, 2017 / 4:49 pm

    Hello! And thank you for sharing your secret. I can confess that my blog here on WordPress is also a bit of a secret except that my sisters know about it. It does not link to my Facebook however so my friends don’t know. I also don’t post any images of myself. And because it has been shared with my sisters I find myself deliberately not saying too much as well in an attempt not to overshare. So I tried lightly over topics censoring myself.

    That said, I think your blog is amazing. I’m glad I stumbled upon it. Thank you for the “like” on one of my posts as well. I can understand where your insecurities come from but…

    P.s. You’re doing a fantastic job!!!

    Take care!

    • May 22, 2017 / 5:11 am

      Oh Akua! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience with me!

      It is so comforting to hear that you have shared RummagingTheBlog with your sister! It is a shame that you don’t feel as free to post what you would like. But I guess that is a pretty good trade off!

      Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They are much needed! And have definitely lifted me up ready for my Monday morning! (Cries!).

      Have a good day babe. xo

  23. May 24, 2017 / 2:00 am

    When I expose my inner self, one piece at a time, there are friends or family who accept me just as I am and there are those who don’t want to see naked truth. I am me, plain and simple, and those who think I am ugly will always see me that way. Those who see me as beautiful will love me forever. I’ve learned to write for myself and offer another view of the world.

  24. May 24, 2017 / 9:20 am

    I was the same way at first but then I tossed caution to the side and started posting on fb and instagram. It’s awkward at first, especially when people bring it up to me I like laugh and turn red, but I LOVE it and it’s so fun!!! And I get sooo many more views 🙂 I set up a mail chimp subscriber widget on my blog, and many family and friends have discreetly subscribed to receive my posts by email which as so cute and nice and made me happy. My advice is to share it with your friends and family, I promise they will either not care or they will love it! I don’t think they will judge. And when they see how many followers u have they will be like dannggg girl your famous! xx

    • May 24, 2017 / 12:18 pm

      Haha, oh Courtney! Your comment made me laugh so much! Sneaky subscribers, you got to love them ❤️😍 And that’s so incredible to hear that the people around you are so supportive.

      You are right. Just need to do it. And people will either not care or be supportive. 😍

      Thank you for your lovely words and advice!
      You’ve made my Wednesday. Keep doing what your doing! You are beautiful! ❤️😍

  25. May 27, 2017 / 6:04 am

    When I started blogging years ago (way back when I was in high school), I never disclosed to anyone I know personally that I have this tiny space on the web that’s keeping me sane. I was battling severe anxiety and depression at the time and I created my then-blog to help me get through whatever I’m feeling at the time through writing. It was very therapeutic for me but I sure as hell was not willing to share those very private thoughts to the people who are in my “real world”. Then fast forward to 2012, I created another blog and made that public. Public in a sense that even my friends and family know about it. And up until today, almost every single person that knows me in real life, knows that I blog as a hobby.

    I understand exactly how you feel as I felt every single one of those then. I was able to conquer it through the years and I hope you could do the same soon! 🙂

    • May 27, 2017 / 12:01 pm

      Oh Victoria!
      Thank you so dearly for sharing with me that difficult time in your life. And I feel so encouraged that you are through that period now. And that blogging helped you get through that. In so many ways Vic, I can relate. I can pour my heart and soul into some of these posts.

      Do you find that you tailor/filter your posts more now because of your wider audience in this new blog?

      I am feeling a little braver each day I must admit. I dare say in a few weeks, the cat will be out of the bag.

      • May 27, 2017 / 5:19 pm

        Oh I’m still suffering from depression but instead of talking about my actual feelings, now I blog about other things to steer my thoughts away from that fact. And no. I would never filter my posts, not even my words (the tag line of my blog is actually “unsolicited and unfiltered”) just because I know now that there are people out there — including those I know in real life — who are actually reading my content. I just write like I always have: like I’m the person who’s reading what I’m saying.

        You should definitely give it a shot — outing your blog to your family and friends, that is. You might actually gain a whole new level of confidence because of it 🙂

        (And you may call me V or Vee if you find Victoria too long. Haha)

        • May 27, 2017 / 5:21 pm

          *like I’m the ONLY person

        • May 28, 2017 / 3:26 pm

          Oh V. I am gutted to hear that. But happy to see that this little space of yours is helping you through it. Not enough can be said of what you can gain by doing this.

          Haha, yes. I need to break down these walls. Little by little. I’ll report back once I have. It’s inevitable. Can’t keep this baby secret for long. 😍

  26. May 27, 2017 / 6:05 am

    I’ve blogged for years so I know how the privacy/public issues can be a challenge. I’ve advanced many liberal causes on my blog as well as my talk radio appearances in the last two decades, but it wasn’t until I was free of the fear of job loss that I could really expound on some of my biggest “minor perturbations”. Now that I am free of the yoke of oppressive employer sanctions it’s a whole lot ‘safer’ to speak my mind. It’s a WHOLE lot harder when you are younger. As I very, very, very gracefully glide in 60, I have already survived the loss of parents and spouses. My remaining family consider my drug usage (“medical” marijuana legal here in CO) on par with heroin addiction, somehow overlooking that they live in the heart of meth alley (Iowa). There’s no quarter given for my self funded college degree. Only scorn that I haven’t yet paid off my student loans (I graduated at 40). Bottom line? Piss on what people think of you. At this point I don’t give two tugs on a dead donkey’s dick what anybody thinks of me. I choose integrity and honesty over clan and groupthink. Continued success.

    Enjoy.

    • May 27, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Haha, Tim. Your comment made me laugh so much. Very true. It is no life to live, under the thumb of everybody else’s opinion. And to be honest, maybe I let all that white noise hinder me most of my young adult. Wasted potential perhaps?

      I think the path to lead is the one you are on. With integrity for myself over groupthink.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read Tim. But not only that, to share your perspective with me. And add a little bit of something to my morning.

      Linda.

  27. May 27, 2017 / 4:32 pm

    I related to this post so much! I myself have only told a handful of people about my blog. I also have a fear judgement. Unfortunately, I have let that fear control many aspects of my life. I’m working on overcoming that fear and leaning on my amazing friends and family for support. Btw your blog is awesome xx

    • May 28, 2017 / 3:22 pm

      Nat! Sorry for the terribly late reply.
      I have just returned home from a little weekend away. ☺️

      You and me both. I am still yet to send the URL of this blog to anybody in my family. Let alone my friends. A lot of work to be done. I go through my phases hey. Sometimes I feel like – yes! I’m going to tell them today. But only sometimes. Haha. Oh thank you so much! I love your fashion posts! ❤️❤️

      • May 29, 2017 / 12:48 am

        No problem at all! Hopefully one day soon we will be able to tell everyone in our lives about blogging. Thank you so many much! Glad I found your blog ❤️

  28. May 31, 2017 / 9:25 am

    I thought I was the only one! I like keeping it a secret though as it feels like something for myself. Only a handful of people (who would pass no judgement, know). Love the clarity and crisp layout of your blog!

    • May 31, 2017 / 8:24 pm

      Thank you so much Ane 😍❤️ for your kind words! And you are most definitely not the only one! I don’t even have a handful of people! You are doing leaps and bounds better than me! 🤣😍

  29. June 2, 2017 / 7:44 am

    I’m 65 years old and have spent a lifetime learning not to care what people think of me. And in all honesty, still not quite there yet. But I can tell you one thing: You can’t escape judgment by hiding from it. People will judge you for absolutely nothing, for things you do, and for things you don’t do. They will judge you because of how they feel that day, or whether their partner fought with them, or the dog threw up on the bed. My point is that other people’s judgement doesn’t really have much to do with us at all, and once you come to appreciate that, it’s easier to listen to their complaints and think, “Oh lord, who dropped a dime in you today?”

    Disapproval won’t kill you. Cross my heart, it won’t. I should know. I’m still here.

    Good luck!

    • June 2, 2017 / 7:22 pm

      Tracy. You’re honest advice has uplifted me so greatly. And you are dead on – I should waste my time and energy hiding this space, the judgement will come regardless and if it’s not about the blog then it sure as hell will be about something else.

      You have glittered my life with stars Tracy! Thank you ☺️☺️ for your meaningful encouragement and for stopping by! ❤️

      • June 3, 2017 / 8:31 am

        I’m happy if I’ve helped you shake free of some of that anxiety. That’s always a good thing. Hang tight, be the best you you can be, and no matter what people say, you know you’re doing the best you can.

  30. June 4, 2017 / 1:53 pm

    Much like Tracy Rowan, mine has been a lifetime of trying to learn not to care what others think – far easier said than done. I do still hide behind a pseudonym, partly due to the insecurity, but also for privacy from the trolls out there.Yes, there will be those who make fun of what you write or do, but can you honestly look at the things they write or do (if they write or do anything) and say it far outshines your efforts? Probably not. Just because a few don’t like something doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t like it. I’ve only read this one post (so far), but I am going to subscribe and follow your efforts.

    I am curious, though, how you manage to do photoshoots as your own model. Camera timer? Even with that, I’d think it would be difficult getting focus, lighting, etc right – or maybe it takes multiple attempts to get what you want?

    • June 4, 2017 / 2:19 pm

      First off. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and perspective with me. You have warmed my heart! And I could not agree with you more. Especially the “if they write or do anything”.

      Secondly, I absolutely adore that you are a writer! I started two fiction stories last year. It shames me to admit that they have been sitting there, collecting dust for over 6 months, left unfinished. But I love writing. And I adore that you do as well. Have followed back! 🙂

      Oh! Haha. When I opened up to my fiancé about .. 6 weeks ago about my blog, he picked up a camera and taught himself how to use it. Wanting to be supportive. If you go through my history on this website, you’ll see the quality of my photos change dramatically. So long story short, my partner is behind the lens. Which makes the whole ‘modeling’ process a whole lot easier.

      Thank you so much for your kind, lovely words. I feel encouraged to keep on going.

      Linda xo

  31. Amy Heaney
    June 4, 2017 / 4:42 pm

    Wow great post! I’m glad I popped along 😀
    Specifically about the being judged part, I feel you there. There are some articles I really feel I NEED to write but don’t. For example, beggars in my area are everywhere at the minute since my city got deemed ‘City of Culture 2017’. Five times a week, twice a day, I get asked for money at least 2-3 times minimum (walking to and from work). On the news it said most aren’t even homeless. I’d like to just express my thoughts about it and how unsafe it makes me feel but I don’t have the courage in case someone says I’m selfish or uncaring, etc.
    After reading this post I do have a huge respect for you 🙂 It takes a special courage to admit ones fears. I’m glad your fiancé is being so supportive too, it’s such a nice thing to hear about! 😀
    Take care,
    Amy x

  32. June 5, 2017 / 9:46 am

    I know exactly what you feel. My blog is also a part of me that only a handful of people know about and people who are not even close to me. Glad I am not the only one.

    By the way, Great post, you are brave enough to share your insecurities and I admire that.Oh and even greater Photos!

    • June 5, 2017 / 6:40 pm

      Oh Nadine! You are most definitely not the only one! Thank you for dropping by, having a read and leaving such a lovely comment! You’ve made my Monday evening! ☺️☺️☺️

  33. June 7, 2017 / 7:32 am

    I absolutely get where you are coming from. It’s so much more daunting than I thought to share my blog with people. I am only on my first blogging month so am sharing slowly with those I trust the most to be supportive. So far so good. Good luck with your deadline x

  34. Josie
    June 8, 2017 / 9:21 pm

    Hi Linda, I came across your blog after I saw you liked my recent post. Firstly I would just like to say that I was in exactly the same position as you, and still feel scared to this day every time I post something.

    It took me a while to find the courage to share my blog even with my own Mum, who is my no.1 supporter in life!! But when I did it gave me such a great feeling of freedom. And all of my posts were met with enthusiasm and applaud from family and friends alike.

    Even the post I shared today, I was second-guessing myself before I posted it. Sharing something straight from the heart and exposing ourselves in that way is scary. Especially when it comes to sharing it with people from your direct environment, mainly for fear of what they will think of you. But it is true, those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

    I write not only for myself, as a form of therapy, but also for other people like you and I who go through the same insecurities and crippling self doubt. We are all human and we all have these feelings at some point in our lives. To share our thoughts with the world means we are letting others know they are not alone.

    So please, I encourage you to share your blog with your loved ones and don’t be afraid. Once you do, I have a feeling it will open up your life to many wonderful experiences and most probably help you grow your blog into something bigger than you could ever imagine.

    140 other bloggers have liked this post, that says a lot!!! I’m sure your own family will be grateful that you finally opened up, and showed them just how incredible you are. Being authentic with ourselves is one of the most loving, courageous and important actions we can take. I am sure you won’t regret it <3

    • June 9, 2017 / 8:19 am

      Oh my goodness Josie.

      You have absolutely blown me away.
      I cannot thank you enough for reading and taking the time to send me such a heart-felt, encouraging and kind comment. I adore you so much already. And you have honestly made my Friday. 😍❤️

      I am encouraged to hear that your blog has been so well received by the people close to you and thank you’ve been able to maintain your authenticity regardless of the reservations that you might still feel.

      I will be sure to keep you updated Josie for when I do share this space with my family and friends. ❤️

      Also, you have a new follower in me! ☺️☺️☺️

      • June 9, 2017 / 5:04 pm

        I am so pleased my words helped you, I felt I had to say something when I came across this very post, especially since I feel so much of what you described.

        I wish you all the best with your blog, and thank you for following mine also! I look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂

  35. June 11, 2017 / 12:36 pm

    I have a secret blog as well. The one blog is business and the other is all the things that are too personal for me to share but need to claw their way out. There are no names, not even mine in my secret blog, but if someone who knew me were to read it they’d know it was mine without a doubt. It feels good to have a space that is both so horrifyingly open but so unknown as well. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one!

    • June 12, 2017 / 10:46 am

      Oh wow Jax! I completely agree. It is a little horrifying but somehow, still very rewarding! How are you finding juggling two blogs? I’m thinking about starting another one that’s a bit more ‘diary/journal/personal’ for my daily rambles. But unsure about the time commitment!

      Also – thanks for stopping by and commenting! It IS nice to know that we aren’t alone! 😊😊

  36. June 20, 2017 / 10:27 pm

    Coming from Angie’s post on you @ lifeofangela.
    You got ten days more if you aren’t done yet.

    • June 21, 2017 / 8:31 am

      Hahaha! Jainey! 🤣🤣
      I adore your comment! Thank you for keeping me honest! I have since rolled the blog out to a few family and friends! I will be sure to keep you updated! ☺️❤️
      Also – thanks for dropping by! I adore Angela! xo

      • June 21, 2017 / 9:10 am

        I know right! What’s not to adore about Angie? She’s an entire package of adorability (does such a word even exist?😂😂)
        Emphasis on “a few”. That’s progress.
        We want at least an optimum level of “majority” even if we might not get the perfect mark of “everyone”. Tu comprends?😝😝

        • June 22, 2017 / 7:08 pm

          Hahah! She is very much so!
          Yes mam! And I have! My parents are the only ones left! 🤣🤣🤣

          • June 22, 2017 / 9:31 pm

            Bravo. Give yourself a medal. 😀

  37. June 22, 2017 / 3:34 pm

    Food for thought: one of the things my therapist told me to help overcome my social anxiety is that when we are worried about others judging us, we are actually, in a way, judging them like we have the power to read minds. You never know what someone is really thinking, and it is practically never as bad as we think it is. 🙂

    • June 22, 2017 / 8:35 pm

      What an interesting perspective! I love it! ❤️
      And I actually agree. Because since this post, I have actually rolled out Olive & Clo to a few people in my life, and they have been so receptive and supportive. And nothing how I had originally expected them to be! Which in hindsight, probably reflected more on me than anything else. 🙊🙊🙊

  38. June 23, 2017 / 9:37 pm

    Love this.
    Although I suspect you may have a webcam planted inside my brain.

    • June 25, 2017 / 6:45 am

      Hahaha! It’s been so good to know that I’m not the only one! 😂😂

  39. June 26, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    Great post! I love this writing. After all, I simply couldn’t survive in secrecy. So, I write it out but with great self-censorship! After my near-death experience, things has changed. There is nothing I could called ‘private’. By the way, I love your writing! Deep down inside, we all have at least something in common!

    I’m sorry for my long comment!

    • June 27, 2017 / 1:20 pm

      Hahah! Don’t be sorry Siam! I prefer long-winded comments!

      And I know what you mean. Ever since rolling out this blog to family and friends (as of a week ago!!) – I have found that I have become much more critical of my writing. But in saying that, I don’t really mind the added effort – it pushes us to write better and communicate better.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. That is probably the nicest compliment I have ever received! Writing is definitely a bit of an art form! And doesn’t come as naturally as one might think!

      I’ll have to check out some of your content! ☺️☺️☺️

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